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Bawksie
Bawksie: The Stéphèn Story Jean Claude Bawksie Van Damme Obama Stalin Superman Bin Spiderman Huckabee Christ Piccard (or Bawksie) is not the average person, or so you might think. To be honest, Bawksie is as average as all of us - until you realize one strange secret... you're not looking at Bawksie. How you might've come to think of this average Joe as Bawksie, I've no idea. I've only an idea of that you'ven't been studying Bawksie. Now, you might be wondering why the name "Stéphèn" is in the title. The truth is, I've no idea. However, Bawksie does happen to be in the same guild as Stéphèn: Roflicers of the Lawl. How this came to be... well, I've no idea of that either. You see, I have... AMNESIA. The Shocking Truth Yes, it is true. Bawksie indeed has a shocking truth. It's pretty shocking. Here's an excerpt from his FlagRSP description: "But once you stop studying the big boobed girl and turn your attention elsewhere, you hear a 'rwar' sound. You turn around and just see the big boobed girl. Then it hits you. The healthy nature diet, the smell of outdoors, the 'rwar' sound. She's a bear." While this may shock you, don't let it. I'm serious. Don't. It's really not that shocking. What? It is? Well, whatever. I don't believe you. ''FIN'' This has been Stéphèn with all your facts about Bawksie. Bawksie lives in Oklahoma. Ha. Also, Bawksie is the name of my DEAD dog. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. More Jean Claude Bawksie Van Damme Obama Stalin Superman Bin Spiderman Huckabee Christ Piccard was born in Oklahoma City, OK. OK is the initials thingy for Oklahoma. Is kinda confusing, since OK also means OKAY. When Bawksie turned approximately 89, he moved out of his mother's basement. After undergoing three octuple bypass surgeries on his heart muscle, Bawksie almost died. Then, suddenly, Stéphèn saved him. Stéphèn saved the day. But then, oh no. Bawksie trieded to kill the Stéphèns. "NO BAWKSIE, DUN DO IT," cried the Stéphèn. "♥," sed Bawksie, "I is not going to kill you. I is just going to stab you and then eat you!" "That sounds lots like killings to me," replied Stéphèn. "But is not. I promise," said Bawksie. "I cannot trust you. Goodbye." Stéphèn said to Bawksie. "NO. STEPFIN. I CANNOT LIVE WIFOUT YOU. DUN LEAF ME." screamed Bawksie, dying of anguish. "Is okay, Bawksie. I hart you now agains." said now Stéphèn. But Bawksie wuz already dyings of anguish. Stéphèn could not save Bawksie this tiem. But Stéphèn did anyway. One year later One year later, like the title says, Stéphèn died. But then Stéphèn was alive again. Yay. But Bawksie thought Stéphèn had died forevers. Bawksie decided to eat Stéphèn's remains. Then a meteor crashed into Tokyo and everyone in the whole world died. 'Cept for Stéphèn n Bawksie, of course. Bawksie wanted to repopulate the Earth, but Stéphèn said no and ran away. Stéphèn found a super large cave n called it the Batcave, 'cause there are lots of bats in caves. Bawksie wandered the desert or wherever they were for hours. Then Bawksie stumbled upon Stéphèn's Batcave. Bawksie went inside, but Stéphèn was there with a shovel. Stéphèn hit Bawksie with the shovel and threw him in a lake. Days later, Stéphèn had a huge feast thingy. It had a whole bunch of foods n stuff, since Stéphèn is good at surviving. Stéphèn thought Bawksie had died or somethings, but it turned out Bawksie didn't die. Bawksie found another cave but it was kinda small. Also there was no food around it, and water was really far away. Every day Bawksie had to walk four miles to a river that didn't have any fish or anything in it, just water. Bawksie ate dirt for two days until he saw Stéphèn at the same river that didn't have any fish or anything. Stéphèn said hi and then walked away. Then Bawksie said hi but Stéphèn was already gone. Bawksie /shrugged and went back to his small cave. MEANWHILE, AT THE BATCAVE: Stéphèn was getting super lonely. Stéphèn was very sad. But then, there was a dog. A GIANT ONE. It was a giant 20 feet tall dog. Also, it was red. Stéphèn decided to name it Knobler. Knobler the dog ate a lot of stuff, but also brought back food like 10 pound apples n stuff. The food always had Knob spittle all over it and so was really gross, but it was still food. Or so everyone thought. DUN DUN DUN It turned out it wasn't really food. It was holograms or whatever, like in Star Wars. Still, it was kinda filling so Stéphèn n Knob still ate it. Bawksie wasn't surviving as well as Stéphèn, however. Bawksie never could find any food and still had to eat dirt. Sometimes he found earthworms in the dirt though, and he ate well. Bawksie also looked for bugs living in the trees. Sometimes there were giant birds that soared through the skies. Also, sometimes giant bats that ate the giant birds. Also, it was cold. There was snow n stuff and there were storms a lot and it just made more snow so the entrance to the Batcave was almost full of snow. Stéphèn was fine, but Bawksie was not. Bawksie is from Oklahoma or whatever, n it doesn't snow there. Bawksie was super cold and couldn't make a fire due to his poor survival skills. Stéphèn had four fires; one for every room thingy in the Batcave. One day Stéphèn was out gathering food when Bawksie was there. Bawksie looked really super thin and he had dirt all over his face. Stéphèn felt bad for Bawksie, and then invited him into the Batcave. "You get the room right there," said Stéphèn, pointing to a room thingy near the entrance, "and you never come out of it, okies?" Bawksie sed okies and went in his room. TO BE CONTINUED